Good Grief

I've been hearing these words a lot lately since 'A Charlie Brown Christmas' is in heavy rotation at my house. We are gearing up for a wonderful Christmas at home this year. We decorated a big, full tree from MARC House. We've been playing holiday tunes and lighting lots of candles. There are several special events coming up at school and church, and two full weeks of school break to look forward to. Life is good, we are very fortunate. We have plans to help those on the island who aren't so lucky during the holidays. I've always heard that if you want to feel better you should do something nice for someone else.

Two days before Thanksgiving my dad passed away suddenly. I got the call that every person dreads. It was a shock to my entire system and to my whole family. Because Thanksgiving week is the busiest travel time of the year, we couldn't fly out until Friday morning. Those two days at home gave me clarity and although I was upset not to be able to be in Pennsylvania immediately, in hindsight I realize those days were a great gift. I was able to turn my grief from a raw state to a calmer, more reflective one. It has made me think of Charlie Brown's famous line. Maybe there really is a 'good grief.' You are sad and missing the person who passed terribly, but there is so much good to think about, wonderful memories and funny stories, that it is hard to focus only on the end of life.

It is difficult to live so far away from family during times of crisis. And there have certainly been times that I have felt selfish for being 90 miles from Cuba and 1,300ish miles from family. But in the days we have been back in Key West, I realize that this is my home. I'm am a proud Pennsylvania girl and I love my time there, but this is where my family's life is. The kindness that our church and school communities have shown us during this difficult time has been truly amazing. Honestly, I have never experienced anything like it. We are  thankful to be here and grateful for the people who have become part of our lives.

Heavy Metal

We've just celebrated the one year anniversary of my older daughter Mari having braces. She started with a palate spacer last September and on Halloween, just after the costume parade at school, we headed to the orthodontist for top braces. Bad timing, yes, getting braces on the the biggest candy eating day of the year, but we didn't have much choice. In Key West the orthodontists live on the mainland and have satelite offices here. Ours is on island every other Friday and Saturday. Not a lot of room for changing appointments around.

So every six weeks or so it's an ortho weekend. Either Friday after school or Saturday morning (sometimes both), we are sitting in the tiny waiting room on Northside Drive along with what feels like the majority of local kids aged 8 to 13. We see pretty much everyone we know there. And after quick updates on school and latest events, we chat about special ortho dental floss and if they break the rules and eat popcorn and tortilla chips. Important orthodontic topics. It's an island bonding experience.

Mari has done very well on this journey, which has been quite painful at times. After major adjustments, new wires, and adding the bottom braces she lived on children's tylenol, jello, yogurt, smoothies, mashed potatoes and ice cream. Her teeth look amazing! The before and after is impressive. And this year, with the girls at their new school with the amazing parent-run Trick or Trunk, Mari got to induldge in what she missed out on last year. I let them eat as much as they wanted for 24 hours and then it went in the trash. No sticky stuff, which can tear those brackets right off, but everything else was fair game. I think Josie made out extra well with all the stuff Mari couldn't eat.

When I was a kid I always wanted braces. I thought it would be so cool! I am blessed with straight teeth and I never needed them. My issue was terrible vision and I got my first pair of glasses when I was in first grade. I would have loved to trade them in for a set of shiny metal braces with the colorful rubber bands that my friends had. Now that I see what my daughter is dealing with, I'm glad I missed out.

Hide & Seek

So as I've mentioned before, Key West has two Publix grocery stores located just blocks from each other on Roosevelt Boulevard. The original is the 'Old Publix' and the newer one, the store that moved into Albertson's space in Key's Plaza, is the 'New Publix.' The chain is working hard to make the 'New Publix' even newer by redesigning the space. They've been at it since mid-summer. It's kinda making me nuts.

We don't have the shopping options of the rest of the state, and I've made my peace with that, but I always found solace in knowing where EVERYTHING I need is located for my quick trips to Publix between other errands or before picking the girls up at school. Yesterday as I wandered around looking for something, noting that the aisle sign was completely wrong, I briefly considered finding the manager to point out the incorrect signage and tell him or her how this whole renovation thing really wasn't working for me. Fortunately, because I live on a small island, I don't actually go through with these plans because I will run into this manager weekly if not daily, at Publix and every other place in Key West.

I was talking to a woman the other day about the renovation at our local K Mart. She was completely exasperrated that everything was someplace different. She went on and on. I hadn't known about that project because I only go to K Mart under duress. But it made me think that maybe my feelings are an island thing....maybe I'm not the only one who has a hard time dealing with change.

While on the topic of shopping, I could write several blogs on Key West's 'Dollar Store.' I'm not sure of it's official name, everyone just calls it that so I do as well. It is a microcosm of island life....a bit chaotic, slow moving, with a dose of crazy most times I go in there. Last weekend the girls and I ventured into the island's new dollar store, called Deals on Flagler Avenue. Josie said, "Wow! This is fancy!" I wouldn't go that far, but it is DEFINITELY a much nicer alternative to the other one. There are many reasons to move to Key West, but shopping isn't one of them.

Tales from the Cafeteria

I started this school year with a big volunteer project, one that I am truly enjoying. I'm the assistant lunch lady at the girls' school. I help the paid staff person prep and serve, and I write the monthly lunch menu and order the food from vendors. This may not sound like a fun gig to most people, but it is perfect for me.

I helped to set up the lunch program at a previous school, and I have a long history of food-related projects. I'm good at shaving food costs and maintaining inventory. But that isn't why I enjoy it so much. It's the diners who make the job so much fun.

At 11:30 the first students arrive in a surprisingly orderly fashion. If you packed your lunch, find a seat with your classmates. If you are purchasing lunch, form a line in front of the serving area. The youngest kids are just adorable, and some of them are really hearty eaters for little people! We had some communication issues in the beginning. It can be loud in the cafeteria with the oven vents on so we have to speak up. But after just a few weeks even the three year olds say 'yes, please' and 'no, thank you.'

Yesterday was a school favorite, chicken strips or chicken nuggets with macaroni and cheese. These kids can eat some macaroni and cheese, let me tell you! Each day brings something funny to the serving line. Sometimes we lunch ladies have to hold back a full-on giggle fit. Yesterday's joke was this:

Me: Would you like strips or nuggets?
Kid: No, thank you. I'll just have chicken.

This conversation happened many, many times over the hour of lunch service.

Each class sits together to eat, joined by their teacher. It is calm and surprisingly quiet. If things get too loud, it is quickly hushed. Tables are wiped, lines re-formed, and the students file out with their friends. They often wave and thank us. These are some polite students. I am impressed by them each day.

It's all over by 12:40 or so. At the end of it I am generally tired, hot, and my feet hurt. But I also feel happy and satisfied to have used my skills to help my daughters' school (by donating my time and experience) and to provide a nice meal to some nice kids.

On the first day of classes this year, on pasta and meatball day, one 5th grader saw the pile of freshly baked garlic bread sticks I added to the usual offerings and said 'This is going to be the best year ever.....we have bread sticks!!' This job reminds me that, yes, it's the little things that make life fun.

Dear Fall...

It is with regret that I must inform you, fall, or autumn, as you are sometimes called, that after a long and passionate relationship I am breaking up with you.

Yes, I'm sure it comes as a shock. I was definitely one of your biggest fans. Remember all those pumpkin spice lattes and pumpkin scones from the various Starbucks in Frederick, almost every morning after I dropped the girls at preschool? And all those decorative pumpkins and gourds that I purchased each year to pile high on every fireplace mantle and flat surface large enough to hold them. I know, I know....but sorry, I'm just truly over you.

I blame Facebook for some of it. Since August each morning's news feed has displayed some traditional food item now available in pumpkin spice flavor, and it just started to get to me. Hey, I'm all for pumpkin bread and flavored coffees and all, but pumpkin pie spice just really doesn't belong in every single thing we eat. Seriously, it just doesn't. It's getting creepy.

Also, after living in Key West for a bit over five years now, I'm just not into celebrating a season we don't really have here. Early fall is our rainy season, a time for storm tracking and hurricane parties. And later fall, after Halloween and Fantasy Fest are over, is the beginning of our best weather of the year. Warm days, cool nights, windows open. By Thanksgiving I'm sure we will have a few jack be littles and gourds on the table. By then I'll be ready. It will finally be fall here on the island by then.

It seems like fall has gotten so commercial. We are bombarded with Halloween craft ideas and recipes for a perfect pumpkin patch picnic while the kids are still in the pool and people are at the beach on summer vacation. None of us really need to buy more stuff, do we? Just go outside and enjoy the changes. And if you don't buy a bunch of fall stuff, you won't have to buy those black and orange bins at Target to store it all in. I've got a stack of them in a house in Frederick, filled to the brim with the decorations of autumns past.

So, thank you, fall, or autumn, for the many, many years of cinnamon-scented memories, piles of perfect pumpkins, and wreaths of orange leaves. It's not you. It's me. I'm truly an island girl now.

Photos & Directions

My husband John starts most weekdays the same way. He leaves our home at 7:22 am for 7:30 mass followed by a run. He usually does about 5 miles before heading back. During these runs around Key West he does much more than just stay fit.

I never know what tale he will tell when he comes home. It's usually around 9 am, but sometimes it's almost 11. On those long days, he could have met a team of cyclists visiting Key West from Sweden and stayed to take each one's picture with their bikes. (Yep, that happened.) Or maybe he met a nice couple from Minnesota on the way out of church and gave them a tour of the Stations of the Cross garden, chatting all the way. (That happened, too.)

Sometimes he ends up running with complete strangers he meets and they often become friends. He will say "Remember that architect from Chicago? He'll be back in town in a few weeks and we are going to run!" I can barely keep the list of semi-acquaintances straight, but his enthusiasm is kind of contagious. 

He gives tourists directions and is happy to take their photo when he sees a couple taking individual shots....'Hey, do you want a picture with you both in it?' The answer is always yes. In front of Hemingway House, Customs House, Mallory Square, but most often in front of the Southernmost Point buoy. I would love to know how many times he has done that in the five years we have lived here.

A few days ago, I got a message from one of those people, and she even sent me the photo John took last year. It turns out that this woman, my new friend Miki from Charleston, SC, her husband, and my husband spent 45 minutes chatting about life in Key West, kids, blogs (she has one too), and much, much more. Miki says the conversation stayed with her and she has been following my blog since then. It turns out she is writing a book set partly on the island. I look forward to reading it soon and will make sure to post about it so people can look for it.

While there have definitely been times I have been irritated by John's open-arms approach to strangers ('Hon, you REALLY didn't invite them to come see your studio NOW, did you???') after talking to Miki I see his treks around the island as more of a public service. Palm trees, blue water, and super nice people. It's really what Key West is all about.

Miki and her husband in 2014, photo taken by John.

Happy Anniversary, Peaches

Oh, she's still around. Over the last year she fell into two pieces, so now Mari has 'Big Peaches' and 'Little Peaches.' I still find little bits of fur when I run the vacuum....where even 'big' and 'little' will end up eventually. I've made my peace with her. And as strange as it is, I figure I could have WAY worse problems....pet tarantulas, for example.

In case you haven't been following the Facebook posts over the last year, Peaches is Mari's mink stole. She found it last summer when we were going through storage at one of our houses in Maryland. It was John's grandmother's stole originally, and it was passed to his mother. It probably dates to the 1940s.

Mari was helping us go through boxes and she just squealed with delight when she found it. 'I'll name it Peaches!' And around her neck it went. No matter that it was July. And hot and humid. While most people, especially kids, may be grossed out by the little feet and face on the thing, Mari was not. My older daughter is a compassionate soul, always willing to look past appearances.

So last summer, from July on, just about every photo we took includes Peaches around Mari's neck. Or curled up on a comfy Hampton Inn bed while we made our trek back to Key West. I started posting about the whole thing on Facebook, because really, who wouldn't? It was hysterical. Soon Peaches had a BIG following.

The hashtags were awesome! I started with #goawaypeaches but #teampeaches soon became a real thing. Friends started asking for updates and when I posted something it got a huge response with lots of funny comments. Two friends had an ongoing hashtag contest. We posted photos of anything that looked like Peaches....I think Mari may have been responsible for last fall's fur trend in fashion and home decor.

When school started last August, I'd say about half of the teachers/parents I saw on Back to School day asked how our summer was. The other half asked about Peaches.

Fortunately, Peaches now spends her days at the bottom of Mari's bed along with the ever-changing pile of books and other, more traditional stuffed animals. I've stopped taking photos of her because, well, if you were grossed out by her last summer, as she lost an eye in Frederick and a leg or two in Savannah, you REALLY wouldn't want to see what's left.

So I will end with some photos from last summer, of the old, all-in-one-piece Peaches. It's been a year, so I guess it's an anniversary of sorts. #teampeaches4ever