I Bought the Lunchables

Years ago, I bought a book at Borders called 'I Was a Much Better Mom Before I Had Kids.' And frankly, I think that is probably true. Before we decided to adopt two little girls from Guatemala (one who arrived as a 7-month-old baby, and one who arrived as a 16-month-old, Spanish-speaking toddler after a grueling adoption process that could have gone either way) I had lots of ideas of how parenting would go. I would hand-make my daughters' baby food, clothe them in organically-grown cloth diapers, and they would never see the inside of a McDonald's or Burger King. But once I BECAME a parent, I learned, so, so much. Obviously!! It's easy to plan a life for kids when you don't have them, but once they actually arrive (regardless of how they got to your family) reality sets in. I am constantly reminded of the title of that book, on a daily basis. Yes, I wish my two daughters would eat organic free-range eggs or high-protein Greek yogurt from Australia for breakfast, or Udon noodles with edamame and Thai peanut sauce (served in cute little Bento box from the Container Store with recyclable chop sticks) for lunch, but frankly, they won't. And Lord knows I have tried. Both girls are picky eaters. They eat a good dinner at home each night, most often home cooked. And our snacks are generally pretty healthy. But with school starting the day after tomorrow, I am looking at another year where I am faced with packing them a lunch that they won't eat, or purchasing school lunches that they won't eat (and I have NOTHING bad to say about the lunch program at their school because I helped set it up.) So....I can make some point that frankly no one here is listening to or I can face reality. My kids need to eat lunch.  They need to have the fuel to get through their days and to focus on the class work. Their lunches will never appear on the cover of Martha Stewart Living, but they will have something in their bellies for a full day of learning and activity. The girls want Lunchables. And after several years of packed lunches that they bring home untouched, I am joining the cult. Do I want my growing girls to eat fake food? No way. But do I want them to eat SOMETHING so that they can focus on the task at hand? Why, yes I do. The lunch struggle made me think about all the things modern parents do, or don't do, because they think other parents are watching them. I am an old mom. We got Mari when I was was 40 and Josie when I was 42. There are tons of benefits to being an older parent (patience, financial stability, etc). There are also many downsides.....I seriously hope that I live long enough to see them through adulthood, and that I can keep up with their activities as they age and I do too. I realize that my many, many years as a childless adult really affected how I have treated parenting. In the old days, people fell in love, got married, had sex, and had a family. In my world, people put off parenting to have careers, see the world, experience life, blah blah blah. But once you become a parent, no matter how you got there, reality sets in. Kids might have a blow-out poop at the finest restaurant, or have a complete melt down regardless of your best laid plans. Adopting the girls is still the best thing we ever did. I decided that I didn't want to end up surrounded by my toys, investments, and high-end purses and shoes when all was said and done, and neither did my husband (OK, actually, I talked him into it but he is full-on in love with his girls). We have never looked back and we love our two girls with every bone in our bodies. But that doesn't mean it is always easy. And regardless of your age, your social or economic status, or life situation, having children is a full-time, harrowing job. And when you add in the fact that you have to navigate the world of child rearing along with other parents whose children your children will attend preschool, camp, Brownies, elementary school, and soccer with, well, that is where I feel that we sometimes beat ourselves up the most. I write this blog post in support of any mom, dad, grandparent, or other guardian who is feeling the stress and pressure of school starting in a few days. And I pose a challenge to all of us. If you are blessed with a child who wants to eat a sandwich made with organic peanut butter and hand-grown boysenberry jelly on sprouted whole grain bread for lunch, good for your. No, seriously, good for you! But if your kids are picky eaters, and they want fake, cold pizza or fake, cold chicken nuggets, I got your back. At some point we all have to look at our realities. No one is judging you, and if they are, well,  frankly, they need to get a new hobby. Because regardless of where you live or how much money you make, your kid has to get through a long day at school. Eating something is better than not eating anything. The day will go better for them, and for those totally and completely amazing people who serve as their teachers. And I truly think teachers are the most amazing people on the planet., because they are the ones who spend the day with our kids and teach them to read, do math, dissect frogs, and so much more. I have learned over the last few years that my husband and I are really, really good at some of the things that make great parents, and there are some things that we totally suck at. And I can live with that. If you want to be completely honest with yourself, you can probably say the same thing. As we start a new school year, let's give each other a break!!! Parenting isn't easy, but it is a wonderful, delightful journey. I don't care what you pack in your kid's lunch, how many field trips you go on, or whether you make popcorn for school fundraisers. If your kid is kind and respectful and doesn't beat the crap out of my kid, we are good. Seriously. Take this one thing off your list of things to worry about. The time you spend doing the right things with your children so outweighs those small things we all do 'wrong.' We are all in this boat together. And happy, secure parents make happy, secure kids.

Just Chill, Mom

Wow.....you want to see two little faces drop? Bounce into their bedroom and announce (perhaps a bit too loudly) that next week at this time, they will be at school. Bummer, mom! We have had a GREAT summer. Seriously. Lots of travel early on, and lots of Key West time after....pool, legos, art camp, crafts, blanket forts, tutoring, etc. The girls have played together well and gotten along famously. Of course, there is always some nonsense, but much, much less of it. I feel like my husband and I are coming out of 'the weeds' of parenting. The girls are almost 8 and almost 10, entering second and third grades this school year. They will have both repeated a grade after this year....a choice that is difficult to make but one that can make a huge difference. As John reminds me, no one every asked him if he repeated first or second grade when he was sitting in a meeting in Manhattan, talking financial record keeping. A good point. Wednesday they both get back-to-school haircuts and a very special treat - my stylist found someone who can French braid hair. Like Elsa from 'Frozen.' (Wondering if she knows every word to 'Let it Go' as well? She just might after this session.) On Friday morning, they will meet their new teachers, and on Saturday afternoon, we will celebrate Josie's 8th at Two Scoops with cupcake decorating and My Little Pony decor. As I sit at the laptop in my new home office (my favorite summer project), my mind is racing with the bazillion things we should do between those few activities. But as I listen to the girls getting breakfast (Yep, breakfast at 10 am. Won't be any transition there, right?) and chatting quietly I am going to take a cue from them....and just chill out. We can enjoy this last week without focusing on the 'last week' part because other than being at school from 8 to 3, and at CCD and Brownies two early evenings, life really won't change that much. Sure, we will have homework and will need to go to bed a bit earlier. But we can still jump in the pool any day we get the urge, or hit Ft. Zach on the way home from school, just to say 'hey' to the ocean and run around. The weather isn't going to change until it starts to get cooler in November, and by cooler I mean we will lose some humidity and maybe 10 degrees or so. Mari and Josie are right. I'm going to get another cup of coffee and enjoy this time at home with them. Let's just see what the day brings us. Hakuna matata.

Fausto's Food Palace

     For a small island, we certainly have enough grocery stores. I've mentioned our two Publix stores, less than a mile away from each other on Roosevelt Boulevard. We also have a full-sized Winn-Dixie in the shopping center between the two Publix. The oldest grocery store, and certainly the most colorful in the Key West sense of the word, is Fausto's Food Palace. Just the name is very KW - it's a food palace! There are two locations - a smaller one on White Street and the larger outlet on Fleming Street. We use the White Street location most since it is a short bike ride from our house. But lately I've started visiting the Fleming Street location to rediscover some of the neat things I've been missing on my many trips to Publix. (Before we moved here, we would shop at Fausto's for supplies for our rental houses in Old Town but it's been a few years.)

     First, a bit of history. Faustino 'Fausto' Castillo came to Key West from Havana in 1910. He opened his first small grocery shop in 1926. Ten years later Fausto moved to larger quarters on Fleming Street, eventually building the current store after a fire at the first. I'm not sure when the White Street location was opened but I know it's been there for a long time. The Castillo family has always been deeply involved in many organizations in Key West, a tradition that continues to this day. The third generation of the family, Fausto's grandson, Jimmy Weekley, has worked at the stores since he was a kid. Along with running the family business, Weekley has served as Mayor of Key West. My husband knows him from Rotary, and I know his list of community service affiliations is long and impressive. We even watched him marry our friends at their wedding at Ft. Zach several years ago...justice of the peace, maybe?
     OK, now back to shopping. Fausto's has the best wine selection on the island, in my humble opinion. The department manager can be seen holding wine tastings at both locations, and she is helpful and knowledgeable. Next time I see her I will ask her name, so I can thank her again for helping me find my favorite summer wine. The Fleming Street location has a full bakery plus breads from Cole's Peace. There is a hot food station with daily specials cooked in house, including the very popular roast turkey and meatloaf. Great cheeses, antipasti items, and fancy condiments for entertaining. And they even carry Bell & Evans chicken, hormone free tenders for the kids. Your purchases will be packed up in the iconic Fausto's paper sack with handles, which is the perfect size to gather the newspapers for recycling after the groceries are put away. They will even deliver your groceries....how cool is that?

Mari's friend Peaches

While we were up north earlier this summer, we spent time at one of our former homes to do a bit of organizing. We went through bins, took a lot of stuff to the Salvation Army store, and put the rest in our new 'owner storage' area. My youngest daughter, Josie, was busy running around the yard and enjoying her time at 'the block house' (that's what she's always called it....not sure if it's because she remembers playing blocks there or if she really means 'brick' house). Mari, my 9 year old daughter, was never too far from the sorting action. I think she was making sure we didn't give anything GOOD away, like mittens and other cold weather gear. She wanted to keep it everything! I let her keep the Dalmation hat and scarf set, just in case we get a frigid winter in Key West in the future, even though the 'coldest' we have experienced has been maybe 49 degrees. I thought I was safe until Mari spotted the ancient mink stole that belonged to John's mother. She picked it up, put it around her neck, and named it Peaches. Love at first site, for sure. Despite our best efforts, Mari wore Peaches everywhere during our week in Maryland. I drew the line at restaurants, mostly because I didn't want to eat near the thing....one of those stoles made with several minks linked together, lots of feet and claws....ewww. And a face. Double ewww. (I'm getting the skeeves just reliving this portion of my summer here.) I let Mari wear Peaches to La Paz for our last night dinner with friends because my Facebook postings had made our little stole into a bit of a celebrity. We even re-took the annual photos at the outdoor painting near the restaurant to include her. (See how this stuff happens? I'm calling it 'her'!) By the time we hit our overnight stay near Savannah on our way back to Key West, Peaches was down to one eye, although I'm not sure exactly where she lost the other one. And then her tail fell off. Oh well, Mari didn't mind. I can always tell when Mari has been carrying her around from the little trail of fur behind them. I am truly hoping that dear Peaches disintegrates completely. And soon. I am not above poking a little fun at this situation on Facebook, and my friends and I have come up with some good hash tags (everything from #goawayPeaches to #teampeaches). John and I have both seen the disappointment on people's faces when they see us sans stole. And we've both been greeted with 'Where's Peaches?" Briefly, I considered serving as her agent....maybe booking some appearances around Key West? Hoping to get Mari's furry friend in a box in her closet for 'safe keeping.' Um, yeah, safe keeping.

Key West in Paint Chips

So now I have names for all those shades of blue, green, and gray that make up Key West's sparkling clear waters. According to the Let's Chip It! software offered by Sherwin-Williams, the sea is a mix of Sapphire, Powder Blue, Upward, Cascade, and Extra White. A pile of coconuts contains Stamped Concrete, Gray Screen, Verdant, and Different Gold. I find this fascinating, and as I get ready to choose new shades for both the interior and exterior of my home, I find it empowering as well. Instead of standing with my jaw hanging in front of the paint chip display at Key West's Home Depot or Strunk Hardware, I am going to load my own photos of sea, sand, palms, and flowers into the program at letschipit.com to find the shades that keep repeating and the colors that really appeal to me. Even if you don't have any home improvement projects on the horizon, log on just for fun. It's kind of like wasting an hour on Pinterest....find some inspiration, get a new idea.

We are redoing our house here in Key West. My husband and I have been talking about it for a while, but after being up north and spending time in one of our homes there, we are inspired to dig in. He has been glued to home design software for a week and yesterday he ordered the new appliances for the expanded kitchen. After four years here we know what we want and more importantly, we know what we need to live well in this small space (At 1,700 square feet our house isn't the smallest for the island, but in Maryland we had over 3,000. Way over, actually.) More storage. More counter space. Smarter office space. A faux mudroom area right inside the front door for the kids backpacks, shoes, etc. It's exciting! It's been a while since we've done a re-do of any kind. In a few weeks a friend is driving a truck of furniture from our other houses to be used here. (And he gets to stay as long as he can and we will fly him home...never hard to find someone to do this for us!) When we were packing to move to Key West we brought second- and third-string items, thinking that we would be back and forth between here and Maryland. Nope. We love being here on the island. It isn't a beach house or a vacation home, it's where our life is. Time for the first-string items, the furniture, rugs and cooking equipment that we miss. This is our home now. The other houses are now rented. Investments with memories attached.

An Ode to Wegman's

We have been home in Key West for a week now. Our three weeks away definitely took its toll....we were really pretty lazy this whole past week, just doing what needed to be done and spending time with our books and pool otherwise. Oh, and we went to the grocery store about a million times. I didn't realize how many staples we were out of, so every meal idea had the 'basics trip' plus the 'how can we not have ANY mustard/extra virgin olive oil/etc in this house? trip.' There isn't much I miss about the 'real world' but there is one thing: Wegman's. I looove Wegman's. Is it weird to love a grocery store? I don't care. Every time I walked into Publix this week I sighed a little. Now, of course, we can get most everything we need, and probably most everything we want at the local grocery stores. But what about those food-related items you don't KNOW you need? Those are the things that always get my attention. Some of it is completely decadent (WARM chocolate chip cookies for sale by the coffee bar, anyone?), but some of it would really make me a better cook.

In the completely decadent category are their amazing mini cheese boards, available every day in ever-changing themes. The cheeses are accompanied by nuts, dried fruit, etc, and the display is surrounded with crackers and fresh baguettes for you to choose from. I wish I knew enough people to have a wine and cheese party every quarter, let alone every day! Some are available on a pretty little board, or even on a small piece of log, for taking directly to a party, just in case you don't happen to have your own collection of give-away cheese displays at the ready.

And before we leave the cheese department, look at this: SLICES of blue cheese for your burger. I mean, think of all the stress alleviated by not having to chase blue cheese crumbles around the plate during your next barbecue. They never stay on!

The bakery area is just jaw-dropping. Who purchases the bazillion loaves of every kind of bread you can think of, mini croissants filled with everything sweet and savory, whole cakes, cake slices, cookies, donuts, bagels, and cupcakes that look like Martha Stewart herself stopped in and decorated a batch for that themed party you didn't know you wanted to have? Really....can they possibly go through everything by the end of the business day? When we were in Maryland two weeks ago I took these photos. The cupcakes were Pre 4th of July....not stars and stripes just yet, but hamburgers, crabs, and watermelon slices.

The area of Wegman's that would make me a better cook is the produce section. I, like most moms with elementary school-aged kids, am constantly trying to get my girls to eat more fruits and vegetables. It is frustrating! At Wegman's they have so much already prepped for you that it would be easier to expose the family to different things without the major time commitment on the cook's part. My favorite example from this trip: Brussels sprouts. First of all, I don't know if I could find them in Key West right now, but if I could find them I know they wouldn't be available already cleaned and halved, let alone already cleaned and shredded. Toss them in a stir fry, saute with onions, bacon, and dried cranberries.....endless possibilities! I'm sure the girls would like THESE sprouts.

I won't see a Wegman's until our Christmas vacation (they are in MD, VA, PA, NY) and I can live with that. But I'm already wondering what kind of holiday goodies they will have for my photos. Until then, I'll see you at Publix!

There's No Place like Home

I can't imagine how many miles we put on my Jeep, and I don't even want to know how many hours I spent sitting on my butt in the passenger seat (note to self....schedule chiropractor appointment ASAP!). We rolled in on Sunday, late afternoon, winding through the Keys along with what seemed like a million other people who were probably headed here for the 4th of July week (note to self....don't travel by car during the week of the 4th!). We had a GREAT trip. Family, friends, sights, shopping....we covered everything. We even got some important work done, spending several days taking care of matters at one of our rental properties in Maryland. I really didn't think much about life in K Dub while we were gone, which is quite nice to be TRULY away from your home in both mind and body....I think that is what a vacation is, or should be, if you can swing it. I didn't worry about the house or pool maintenance, because my awesome buddy was living here while we were away. And I really didn't miss the beach or the pool or my flowers or the geckos because I knew it would all be here when we got back. But boy did I miss my bed. My OWN bed. And my kitchen. I swear I'm going to live on water with lemon and kale for the next month....it is going to be a long time before any of us want to dine in a restaurant after three weeks away from home. On the drive back John and I decided to make this first week back a vacation from our vacation. Josie said 'Oh good! I don't want to leave the house once!' We laughed, but I think she said what we were all thinking. We have left the house for the grocery store, several times in just two days (note to self....make a list next time!). We've got all the supplies for a week of 4th of July festivities....sparklers, watermelon, hamburgers, hot dogs, bomb pops, and more. I've located the big star-shaped cookie cutter that the girls love, to cut sandwiches and brownies and whatever else they feel like cutting. I bought the yearly tub of Pillsbury icing with the red, white and blue sprinkles, so I know there will be some patriotic cupcakes made in the next few days. We are set! So I'm going to head back to the sofa now. There is a giant stack of magazines and catalogs that arrived while we were away....and a big glass of ice water with slices of organic lemon slices.