The Kindness of Strangers

Things generally seem to work out the way they are supposed to, don't they? We decided to just stay put for the girls' week-long spring break from school to tackle some house and garden projects. And one of my oldest friends had planned to visit for a few days. So glad we were home, and so glad my friend was here. Our old dog Murphy stopped eating her food and began pacing....it was time to put her down. She had been in decline for the last year. Murphy didn't really recover from our trip up north last summer....she had lost a lot of weight and wasn't able to gain it back, even with all our food interventions. We knew where things were headed, but anyone who has ever had a pet (especially a pet that lived with you for 15 years) knows how tough it is to make that final trip to the vet. John found a new vet office on White Street that just seemed to call to him. We both went over Wednesday morning and met Dr. Householder. If someone has to put your pet to sleep, we certainly found the kindest and most compassionate man for the job. John and I made an appointment for a few hours later, and headed home to talk to the girls and say good bye to Murphy. The girls knew there would come a day when we had to do this, so they were prepared. And sad. My friend snuggled in with them while we took the dog over to White Street. Dr. Householder and his staff handled things so wonderfully. When it was over, he gave me what I call a 'dad hug' and God knows I needed it. And in true Key West fashion, he offered to go out out for a beer with us if we needed it. This morning I was going through the mail that came in while we were out of town for a few days. One of the items was a lovely handwritten card from the vet's office. The tears came on again, not just for Murphy but for their great kindness. And there was so much more kindness shared.....I feel like the island gave us all a hug. The waitress at Southernmost Beach Cafe sent us home with some free key lime pie to cheer us up. The staff at Poco Pelo Chic surrounded me with kind words while I got a cut and color that afternoon. How many people have hair stylists that text them at 11 pm at night to say 'I love you'? I do. The next day we went to the new Thursday morning Green Market in Bayview Park. I saw some of my new 'foodie' friends....people I have met since I started my blog and started writing for a local newspaper. One of my favorites is Mozzarella Mark. Not only does he make the best mozzarella, he's a good guy. When we were leaving he called me back and gave me a free piece of his awesome cheese and a hug. I don't think he knew what was going on in my life, Mark was just being awesome. There is a saying that you should be kind to everyone you come into contact with because you don't know what they might be dealing with in their life. People were. And I will pay it forward.

Thinking Spring

It's the first day of spring, here in Key West and everywhere else, of course. Up north people are awaiting the big thaw after a brutal winter. Down here we are awaiting the slow departure of the island's many visitors. We've got about a month until things really quiet down, usually after Easter. The daylight is longer, the temperature and humidity are still pretty low....life is good!

Local schools close next week for spring break. My girls are taking a circus camp class at the Studios of Key West and we have plans for picnics at the beach and lots of time in our pool. We haven't lived here long enough to really want to go away, but I'm sure as time goes on we will. For now, a trip to the mainland may be our only trip off the island during this break. I could certainly use a Target fix!

Spring always makes me want to revamp, replant, and repaint. My poor husband's 'honey do' list is a mile long! I can't wait for today's delivery of the new Lily Pulitzer shower curtain for the guest bath....good bye pale green and light blue, I'm going Lily hot pink and bright green in there. I ordered a driftwood Parsons desk and it will arrive next week. It will be my space for my decoupage work since the dining room table always seems to be occupied by other stuff. And I can't wait to hit Home Depot for a slew of colorful new plants to put in the ground.

Key West is full of hens and new chicks this time of year. Regardless of how you feel about our roaming chickens, it's hard not to like the little fuzz balls and their protective mamas. Last week I pulled into my usual parking spot and realized that I was only inches from a feathery little family. I hear the hen clucking and the chicks chirping during the day, and last evening I watched mom fly up into one of our bushes for a few minutes. I have tried several times to get a photo, but she's not having it! The stock photo I found on Google is a good representation of what they look like, with various colors in one group.

Spring also marks my family's busiest time of year for visitors. Tomorrow I am meeting a friend coming into Key West on a cruise ship, just for the day. Over the weekend, two sets of friends from Maryland arrive for a week at their time shares. On Tuesday one of my oldest friends arrives for a short stay, and the following week one of my sisters arrives with my nephew and niece in tow. I can't wait to take them to Bahia Honda for the day, and to try a schooner sunset sail. It is always a delight to see the beauty of the island through visitors' eyes, no matter which season we are in.

Publix Scales & Kindness

People who live in Key West weigh themselves at the grocery store. Yes, they do. There are large scales at the entrances to both Publix grocery stores, and every time I am there (which is several times a week), I observe people weighing themselves. In fact, I've seen people standing in line to weigh themselves. Are they saving money instead of buying a small home scale? Or maybe saving space at home? Or maybe they are making sure they haven't gained weight on vacation from eating too many fried grouper sandwiches? These questions come to me every time I see a person step on the Publix scale.

I can't imagine this happening in Maryland.....what if someone behind you saw how much you weighed? What if someone saw you using the scale at Wegman's or Safeway or Giant and thought you couldn't afford a scale of your own? OMG - THE HORROR! Well, really, you'd have to move to another town after that.

I think that is why it cracks me up every time I see it, because down here people don't care about either thing. If you need some eggs and milk, and you want to check your weight, have at it!

People who live in Key West are also very helpful. If you ask someone for directions, or for help getting something down from a store shelf, they will stop and assist you. And you will probably get a good story or two out of the exchange.

Yesterday I was in my car running errands. The snowbird/spring break traffic was really annoying me because I had to get to one place before noon, and after I did that, I realized I had to go back home to retrieve something I had forgotten. Eventually I noticed that I was really hungry because I hadn't eaten since breakfast, and I had to pick up the girls in a half hour. So I pulled into a local fast food joint to grab a chicken sandwich. I entered the place in what I call my 'real world mode' - irritated by the traffic, stressed that I only had a few minutes to place an order, get my food, and get back into the traffic to get to school by 2 pm.

There weren't any other customers except for a young couple speaking to the cashier. She sent the young man out front to retrieve a map of Key West. When he returned with it, the cashier found a pen and marked the way they should walk to Higgs Beach. And then she turned the paper and marked the way they should walk to Smathers Beach. Slowly and kindly. At this point my head was about to explode. But as I listened to their lilting conversation, I realized that I couldn't have helped them if they had asked because I don't speak Spanish. And really, does it even matter if I get to school a few minutes late? Why am I being a jerk?

I got my sandwich and a diet coke and got back on Roosevelt Boulevard. I think I got a free lesson in patience and kindness with my lunch.

Lots of visitors.....lots of traffic

Boy is this week busy in Key West. Lots and lots of visitors. And with traffic still an issue due to the ongoing road repairs and improvements, I think I can speak for all locals when I say tempers are running a little high. OK, maybe really high. There is a light at the intersection of Roosevelt and Kennedy where people coming onto the island, leaving the island, or crossing the island converge. The traffic lights aren't set correctly, so when you get the turning arrow you've got to HIT IT to avoid sitting through several cycles of lights. Unfortunately, people are HITTING IT from three different directions. This same intersection is also the one I come to every morning and every afternoon to get to the girls' school. The girls say 'Green Arrow!!' and I go. Lord help the driver who doesn't.....honks and hands thrown up in the air from those behind. I've endured Washington DC Metro area traffic, so I can kind of laugh at all the commotion over adding several minutes onto our daily travels. I don't think Conchs believe me when I say that it sometimes took close to three hours from Frederick to Bethesda during a rain storm, even though it's only about 40 miles.

So these visitors, snowbirds (older folks who spend part of the winter here) and spring breakers (younger folks who are here to party on Smathers Beach) add to the traffic problems in several ways. Some of the older folks aren't the best drivers.....I'll just leave it at that. And some of the younger folks are so busy yelling out the window, texting, or whatever else to pay attention to traffic rules. Add bikes and scooters into the mix - you may be able to HIT IT because there are no cars, but here comes the dude on the bike across Roosevelt Boulevard, causing you to slam on your brakes.

And then there are the complete morons who walk out into traffic. Seriously. They want to get across the street and I swear they don't even look to see if a car is coming. My husband says they should make signs for Key West streets that say 'BECAUSE YOU ARE ON VACATION DOESN'T MEAN YOU WON'T GET HURT IF YOU GET STRUCK BY A MOVING VEHICLE.'

Paradise problems, right? That is why locals love summer. It may be humid as hell, but it's the time of year with less visitors. And less traffic.

Conch, Bubba, and Cuz....oh my!

Technically, here is the definition of a 'conch' as provided by NOAA:

"The queen conch (Strombus gigas) refers to both the large, marine mollusk and its shell alone.  Queen conchs (pronounced “konks”) are soft-bodied animals, belonging to the same taxonomic group (Mollusca) as clams, oysters, octopi, and squid. They live in shallow, warm waters on coral reefs or sea grass beds. A queen conch can reach up to 12 inches in length and can live for up to 40 years. Its shell grows as the mollusk grows, forming into a spiral shape with a glossy pink or orange interior."

At the bottom you can see two photos of a conch my nephew found while we were at Ft. Zach. (I know you aren't supposed to disturb them but he was so excited and he was gentle and put it back.)

The familiar shell is on the Conch Flag (this is the Conch Republic, after all) and on just about everything else down here. The sports teams of Key West High School are the Conchs and one of the marching units for local parades is The Conchettes. My family went to Conch Fest over the weekend. You can pick up a Conch Color paper every Friday.....you get the picture.

The word also refers to people, specifically anyone born on the island. You are a conch even if you never actually lived here, so there are lots of  Navy and Coast Guard families with conch children who were born during their orders.

I think most people use the term to describe someone who was not only BORN in Key West, but really someone BORN AND RAISED here. I've met lots of conchs who left Key West to live elsewhere for a period of their lives, only to return to the small island where they were born. Some say if you live here for seven years or more, you become a 'Freshwater Conch.' I've heard many people who have lived here for more than 20 years refer to themselves as a 'long-time resident' or 'long-time Key Wester.' I don't think anyone who wasn't born and raised here would really call themselves a conch of any kind.

Now if you are a Conch, and you run with certain circles in the local government and/or business community, then you may also be a Bubba. That is the local term for what they used to call 'the old boys network' in Maryland.....the dudes who seem to control everything and get to make their own rules. You will see 'Bubba' thrown around as a derogatory term, but it is also a common greeting ('Hey, Bubba!') and an even more common nickname ('This is my Uncle Bubba').

And because many Conchs, who may or may not be Bubbas, are related to each other, you will hear 'Cuz' a lot. In fact, many people end their sentences with the word, as in 'Thanks, Cuz!' and 'Good to see you, Cuz'.

Confused? Don't be. No worries. :)