Parents Behaving Badly

I generally write about Key Westers good behavior, but today I've got something to say about a certain groups' bad behavior. That group would be some parents at my girls' school. And probably at EVERY school across the country......why does volunteering in a parent-teacher association seem to bring out the worst in everyone? Seriously. Seemingly normal people can become down right rabid over the simplest things. And with smart phones, nasty texts and emails can start flying. Immediately. Before you've had a chance to choose your words carefully. It is behavior we would punish if our children did it. And it's sad. And hurtful if you are on the receiving end of it. If all of the time that has been spent in the last few weeks  explaining/defending/denying/accusing/etc had been directed at constructive projects we could have painted every building, weeded every garden, and re-shelved all the books in the library. The stuff that parents are supposed to be doing to help their kids' school. After two years of serving as president of a parent organization, I took this year off. It felt like a giant weight had been lifted from my shoulders. I didn't attend one meeting, didn't read the emails, and only volunteered for things in my kids' classroom or in the library. I focused on developing some of my other interests (like this blog and re-starting my food writing for local outlets) and I learned that I have issues with boundaries and balance. I too easily say yes and often do way too much. But not being involved at all isn't realistic because I truly care about my girls' school and what goes on there. I think my year off will make me a better volunteer because I am looking at things with clear eyes, not from the point of the exhausted super mom who tries to do everything. The next time we all start to get worked up about what color pencils we need to buy or what we should call the next festival I am going to listen quietly and then remind everyone while we are here - to do good things for the school. I promise to stay above the fray and model the behavior I would expect from my children in their classroom. I admit I haven't always done that. I can be snarky and sarcastic, and I have certainly participated in some silliness. One of my favorite quotes is from Maya Angelou and it fits here - 'When you know better, you do better.' I am going to do better. :)

Easter Fashions

KYesterday was a glorious day here in Key West. 78 degrees and sunny with a gentle, cool breeze. Our church has multiple services on Easter, including several in the Stations of the Cross garden. While I was standing there, surrounded by palms and beautiful tropical foliage, with my arms around both girls as they stood in front of me, I truly felt the blessings and joy of Easter. It is standing room only, and I can't always hear every word the priest says, but it is one of my favorite masses of the year because it is outside. Key West gets many tourists for Easter weekend. Schools up north hold their spring break so that the holiday weekend is included, and I think there are many families who make it a tradition at one of our inns or hotels. I love looking at the clothing worn by these obviously wealthy city folks. There is a India Hicks/Aerin Lauder vibe with the women, and a young Alec Baldwin thing with the men. And their children look like they were created for a Ralph Lauren campaign. I always wonder what these visitors' history is with Key West....did they grow up coming to the island every Easter and now they are passing the tradition on? In a perfect, privileged world, I would have an apartment in Manhattan, a house in Key West, a family beach compound in Maine, and just for my husband, a condo near a ski town out west. It's funny how comfortable I am with our simple life here...just thinking about all the clothes the four of us would need for such a life makes my head spin. And, at least one of us would have to get a paying job (like running a hedge fund or cranking out a bestseller once a year) for such extravagance. And that would take time away from our kids and the volunteering projects that we hold dear. Oh well....a nice world to visit in my mind, just for a little while.

Life without Murphy

Don't worry.....this isn't going to be sad. It's been a few weeks since we lost our beloved mutt Murphy to old age. And we are all fine. The girls say 'Murphy is in dog heaven' and if ever there was a dog to earn a spot there, it was her. One of Josie's teachers loaned us a book titled Dog Heaven. She had purchased it for her children when they lost a beloved pet a few years ago. Illustrations of dogs sleeping on clouds, but only after walking around in a circle three times, of course. It is still strange to walk into an empty house and realize she isn't here. Most mornings it was just me and Murphy, until John got back from his run and joined us. I have had two dreams since her passing that she was in the bedroom with us, on her dog bed, like always. But, I have to say, there are some things that have given us a bit more freedom. Of course, hotels no longer need to be dog friendly and we can actually fly on our next trip north if we choose to. If I am bringing groceries into the house, I don't have to shut the front door between loads. If the girls leave the side gate open, we don't need to search frantically to make sure the dog didn't get out. As old as she was, Murphy still enjoyed the occasional tour of the neighborhood. Now that makes me smile, but at the time I would be mad and worried, yelling her name until I heard her rustling around in somebody's bushes. These little freedoms are going to prevent us from getting another pet for a good long while. After cleaning up after an old dog for the last few months, the last thing I want to do is clean up after a puppy being trained to go outside. And I am really looking forward to our summer trip up north in June.....it will be so much easier and less stressful. But, I miss the old girl. As I write this I am watching the breeze in the palm trees and I know Murphy would put her nose in the air to see what smells the wind was carrying. I hope that is what she's doing in Dog Heaven today. And everyday.

Bahia Honda Beach & Funny Conversations

This week we had house guests. My youngest sister, her four-year-old son, and my other sister's teenage daughter. My niece had never visited before, and it was fun to show her around. And my girls were just beyond thrilled to have a 'big girl' in the house for manicures, pedicures, French braids and the like. While the girls were at school one day, we headed north for a day on the beach. First stop was the Sugarloaf Food Company on Summerland Key for some picnic supplies. We bought wraps, tortellini salad, and cookies. Next stop, Bahia Honda State Park, home to the Lower Keys most beautiful beach. (actually it is considered one of the country's most beautiful beaches.....it's a mainstay of those Top Beach lists) We found a spot to place our stuff and spread out our towels. Unfortunately all the picnic tables were taken, but this would work just fine. The sky was blue, the sun was hot, and the water was a lovely turquoise. The palms were swaying and the bridge from Henry Flagler's railroad made a dramatic backdrop. There was even a boat that looked like a pirate ship docked just past the swimming area.....kinda cool. We floated around and sat on our knees in the cool water so that my nephew could walk around between us. After a long soak, we hit our towels for lunch, then got back in the water for a swim (and to wash off my nephew's chocolate chip cookie mess) before heading back to Key West. It was a lovely day, and one that I am so happy I got to share with my family after the horrendous winter they had in Pennsylvania. They actually had SLEET the day before they left. In April!!

While we were hanging out in the water, a woman struck up a conversation about the water temperature. When I told her that we lived here she didn't hide her feelings. OMG, WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO LIVE HERE??? I explained that we actually lived in Key West, and were just spending the day at the state park. OMG, KEY WEST? THAT IS EVEN WORSE? IT'S NOTHING BUT A DRINKING TOWN! I told her that yes, our town has Duval Street, but it has much, much more than that.....history, architecture, art, culture, etc. I asked if she toured the lovely homes in Old Town Key West. WELL, YES, BUT THEY ALL HAD BIG PLANTS IN FRONT OF THEM! Um, yes, that would be colorful tropical foliage....we are known for that too. I pretty much turned my back after that because nothing I was going to say was going to change her mind. We all got a good laugh after she moved on.

When we were heading to my Jeep to leave, we were passed by a man wearing one of those unfortunate bathing suits some men wear. I made eye contact with my niece and we giggled. A woman walking by with her friend said I SPY WITH MY LITTLE EYE....A EUROPEAN! It's true. The little tight swim trunks they tend to wear are really bad. Really, really bad. We giggled most of the way back to KW.

Islanders on the Mainland

Last week during my girls' spring break from school, we headed north to Fort Lauderdale for a few days of shopping. There are lots and lots of reasons to move to Key West, but shopping isn't one of them. We can get everything we need (pretty much) but not much of what you want at local stores. Most people on the island shop online for many things......clothes, books, shoes, etc. Every so often you've just got to make the three hour drive and GO SHOPPING. As a former shopaholic (not clinically, but I certainly spent a lot of time in the stores in Maryland), I admit I miss it. But given the choice of living someplace else and having a Target and a Nordstrom close by, I'd much rather live here with the water, palm trees, beaches and island way of life. After several tries, I finally found a good mall. Aventura Mall in Miami has all my real world favorites and then some. John gave the girls a pep talk while I was in the shower at the hotel. Something along the lines of 'mom does everything for us and she is upset about Murphy and this is HER day.' So while I browsed and bought, John and the girls rode escalators and elevators (can't do that in KW!) and walked around the large mall. We met up for lunch at The Cheesecake Factory, which they thought was just grand. It's been a long time since a server handed me that bound, thick menu! Mari thanked the guy at the Lego store for making all the cool Legos......she was just beside herself with joy in there. When we entered the Disney Store Josie said 'Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh' and took off! I told the startled greeter that we never take them out of the house. We separated again for my final rounds. As I emerged from Henri Bendel with the most fabulous sunglasses in my brown and white striped bag, I found the three of them sitting on a bench surrounded by all my purchases, patiently waiting for me. So sweet, so kind. I said LET'S GET OUT OF HERE AND DO SOMETHING FUN! Both girls have been asking for a trip to Chuck E Cheese, and I had seen one on our way to the mall. But as we were coming up on it I looked in the back seat at two sleepy ladies and decided they had probably had enough retail fun for one day. The next morning, after checking out of the hotel, they dropped me off at Target and I spent almost TWO HOURS, ALONE going up and down every aisle. John and the girls did a last trip to Barnes & Noble, Mari's favorite. With just enough room left in the back of my Jeep for John to see out the back window, we got back on the FL Turnpike and headed back to Key West. Josie did a little cheer when we crossed to bridge back to our little island.